so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
