All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize