STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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