in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
