What did we do last night that was yellow?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
