3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
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It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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