i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
