Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
