Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
