Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
