Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she smelled like a LAN party
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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