Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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