their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
