He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
