Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
