I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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