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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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