i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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