his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
