Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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