that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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