She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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