Duck Duck Cougar?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
