I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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