What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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