He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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