fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize