Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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