Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
