I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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