Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
