I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
