I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
