I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
