i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
