Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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