so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
