Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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