and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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