Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
