Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
