found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
