Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
