Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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