Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
