So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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