I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize