Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
