the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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