I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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