My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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