he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
