Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
