i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
