Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
