wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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