I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
