we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
