Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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