May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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