First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Everything about him screamed your future.
Come see our sink grown plant.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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