Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
soo... how was my night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
