You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
