stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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