If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize