I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
