It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
