Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
