She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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