I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
